1, 2, 3.

I don't know where to start. All I know is that this post will be about my 421, how I really miss him and how the world seems so unfair to the both of us. So basically, it's about my love life again. I never get tired of talking about it. But I know you don't feel the way I do, I'm so damn sorry if talking about it pisses you off.

I can't help myself. I mean, thinking about him-- I can't help it. I woke up to the music coming from the television and while listening to the song I recalled watching the The Making of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and then falling asleep. Hmmm. Anyway, the song was a really sad one. And I guess it was really old, maybe `80s or something. But it was good. The melody, the lyrics and I just don't know why, I don't know why all of a sudden he popped up into my head. I feel like crying.

I'm proud of myself. Even if we haven't seen each other for a long time now, my feelings for him is still the same. My feelings for him never diminished and I know now that I'm patient. And I'm really proud of myself because I have been or should I say I am faithful? Thinking of these things make me smile and I hope he really feels the same way too.

I miss him, I miss him, I miss him. How can I not? Those times we've shared together, it was painful, yeah, knowing that our time was limited. But not being with him is worse.

HOW CAN THE WORLD BE SO UNFAIR?!!!! Why???? Why can't I see him? It's so unfair. I'm serious, he is too. But why does it have to be this way? Those other lovers, they're not serious but they're seeing each other but heck, they're NOT serious! It's so unfair. They should take our place. We should be in their places, we deserve it. I love him, I think he does too. It's so unfair. You, people, you should be happy that you can spend time with your love ones. You should cherish it not taking it for granted!

In a week, I only get to hear his voice for 6 minutes. And that's enough for me, like duh, as if I have a choice. Even if I beg to be with him for even just a day, even if I shout from the mountain pleading, as if, as if someone will grant me my wish! Darrrrn!

I was considering of breaking up with him since our chances of seeing each other is very remote. Honestly, I've tried. Twice. He doesn't want to. He said we'll still see each other. He said it was a very small reason to let go. You know, I still want to but I've got second thoughts on my mind. It's not fair. Dumping him without even seeing him even just once when we were in a relationship is so not fair. So I guess I have to wait to see what comes and goes.

I miss him. I miss him badly, I could die. I love him. Enough said. :(